Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Reporting From the Front Lines of "Fashion", The Barney's Warehouse Sale, NYC

In the mirror you can see my mom's Tevas.
HAWT-DAWG!!
On Monday my familia and I took the train into the city to visit some Revolutionary War sites (of course...). After we were done with all of that we hauled a cab to take us a wee bit uptown to the Barney's Warehouse sale.

We went mainly for my dad to get some new suits. There was no place to try on clothes for men, because it was a warehouse and everything. So my dad stayed on the bottom floor had to try on a pair of pants in the aisle (which was exceedingly humiliating, since I was the one blocking off the aisle from chicer shoppers). My mom and I ventured upstairs to where all the woman's attire was kept.

And man, when we walked up that staircase, my jaw hit the floor and (in my imagination... *sigh*) my braces shattered.
There were racks upon racks of glittering clothing that stretched on for miles it seemed like, organized by designer. And there were tons of designers. Designers I haven't even heard of. And I thought I knew my designers!!
Seeing designer clothes up close and personal and in real life was so much different then they looked online or in magazines. Some of the clothes were intricately tailored and simply beautiful. But a lot of the clothes looked like something you could have ordered off of HalloweenExpress.com for hundreds of bucks cheaper.

A lot of the clothes were ugly.

But I felt so second rate standing next to rows and rows of Balenciaga, which I always read as Balengelica because my vision isn't 20/20 (once I got lost in an indoor tennis facility because I read the door as "no tennis courts" when it really said "to tennis courts" and somehow I found myself in the basement...). So I shouted to my mom "hey let's go look at Balengelica" and I quickly got a series of weird looks from all of the stylish New Yorkers (who probably all worked in the fashion industry) around me.
My mom didn't seem to get the concept of "high fashion." She held up an ugly Acne dress to me and practically shouted, "look at this Jen!! $900!! It looks like it's from TjMaxx!!" A nearby stylish New Yorker chuckled and resumed her shopping, while I squirmed in my H&M "crop top", feeling totally out of place.

We didn't get to see the good designers by my standards, but the ones that we did see weren't "fashionable." The labels might have been fashionable. But the garments themselves looked like over sized Barbie clothes from the 70s'.

*Sorry if I dissed any of your favorite designers. I'm not sure that dress was Acne. Either way.*
Yes I know this is Wednesday...

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Teen Vogue, you are flushing yourself down the Porto Potty. No, the Porto Lou

Teen Vogue has been the ruler of the teen fashion court for a long time. It's been hailed by the fashion elite as the revolutionary magazine that made fashion assessable to teens like us stuck in the suburbs.

That's the key word here. Fashion. What the magazine started off being about. Fashion. But these days, or is it just me, is the magazine more centered around.... well, crap?

Let's take the September issue for an example: notice in big letters on the cover above the subtitle "Glee's Sexiest Bad Boy." How on earth are sexy Hollywood male movie stars related to fashion?

I understand that the magazine is aimed at teenagers, and a lot of teenagers want to read articles about hot guys (or as my grandma would say, "hunks"). And they should add that bit of pop culture!! But this is just bad. So bad that I don't want to read this in public.

But let's get inside the magazine. The "bloggers" ,or the idolized journalists who do those other little tidbits, don't write about trends or tips, but all the glamorous places they've been invited to that month. Fashion Blogger (aka Jane Keltner de Valle) baked cupcakes with her personal pal Jason Wu, while wearing the apron he made for her. Not once in the article is there a mention of anything... what's the right term... fashion-? besides the apron. And it's an apron!! It's not like we can all go out and ask our dear buddy Jason to cook up us one (get it, cook?).

My personal favorite, Style Blogger (aka Andrew Bevan) failed me as well. He wrote about getting invited to some Chanel shin-dig in France... which was fashion-y, but completely irrelevant. The worst I thought was Beauty Blogger's (aka Eva Chen) article about Lady Gaga. It starts out with Eva, not Gaga. (And it seriously annoys me how she says "darlings". Really? You're not my grandma!!)

This magazine always talks about how kids are always so desperate on how to break into the fashion world, and provides tips on how to get in and says below the text to cool off. But how can fashion-obsessed teens "cool off" when the whole magazine gravitates around the glamorous lives of its editors? If this was the music industry, I'd say that Teen Vogue is a sell-out.

I have two more quips: 1. Most of the clothes they feature in the magazine are designer and extremely expensive. Most of the editorials are made totally of $500 this and $1000 that. How is that accessible to teenagers?? Who aren't the kids of celebrities?? 2. The models are rail thin. If you are going to be a teen magazine, you can't have rail thin, starved models. What can of message is that???

I guess I do owe some to Teen Vogue: It was that magazine that introduced me to fashion last year. Before that, in sixth grade, I wore stiff flare jeans and a boxy white Northface. It wasn't pretty. The thing about Teen Vogue is that it keeps on opening up this world for other kids, not just me and you, and teaches them how to dress better, and that attracts people to read  it. But maybe the longer you stick around, the longer you keep reading, the gilded golden layer chips away enough for you to make your own opinion.

What do you guys think? Am I overreacting? Let's get a discussion going!!!!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Playing Ketchup

I got these two a while ago from  Lauren at Someonelikeyou (Thank you thank you Lauren!!!), before my blog-fast, and I've just been too lazy to post them (ex-ca-huse me, it's summer! [which brings me to another point, my favorite book series, The Clique, but I'm getting ahead of myself]).

For the Versatile Blogger Award, I have to list 7 (a magical number according to Dumbledore) things about myself:

  1. I'm petrified of heights. You probably know that. It's such a problem. You know what, I don't even want to talk about it...
  2. I'm allergic to hazelnuts and walnuts. I have to carry an Epi-Pen around with my 24/7 (And trust me, it's not fun).
  3. Lego is my forte. My brother and I have a whole Lego city. Let's ignore all forms of modesty here for a second, so I'm going to say that our two Lego cities are AMAZING!! One day I have to post some pictures, if you're curious remind me he he.
  4. I have a major crush on Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Yes. I am Fan of Avatar. The movie made me cry it was so bad. End of discussion.
  5. One day, I will be a black belt in karate. That is my dream. To be able to shout "HI-YA!" while executing a perfect round-house kick or something on Jennifer Anniston's "perky butt".
  6. Jennifer Anniston is my arch-nemesis.
  7. Rick Steves is my soul mate. I love his nerdy-ness. So much.
So I'm going to pass this on to.... MADELINE AND SOPHIE!!! They are very versatile. They're extremely, extremely, so extremely fashionable it will melt your eyeballs, and they're hilarious. Beyond funny. So funny you never thought you could laugh that hard until you read their posts. I practically died choking on my chortles while reading their Tamagatchi post.

Ok on to the Cherry on Top Award... for this award, you have to post a picture you love and say 3 things you love about yourself. But first the picture:
Admire it, people. ADMIRE!! I ah-dore (yes another Clique reference, hold your horses Jen...) her outfit, the way the minimalism contrasts with the prickly woods. I like it so much because it reminds me somewhat of home: Connecticut has many trees like these.


So now my favorite three features about myself!!
 
  1. I like my, erm, sociability. I'm very, very social. I'm 100% a people's person. I can click with anybody. And that's why I'm an ALPHA!! (Ha ha that was a joke... or was it?? Massie Block, you have messed with my mind!!)
  2. I also like my legs. They're long. Yep. Boo-ya. And I'm learning to love my lanky-ness. I'm very long, my limbs get tangled with each other (which is why I'm a klutz x10 AHH MASSIE!!). All teenage girls, all teenagers for that matter, should learn to love their bodies, and I'm glad I'm learning to love mine.
  3. My favorite part of moi however is my passion of writing. I don't know what my life would be without it. Writing is like my security blanket, my hobby, my friend; writing is me. So, maybe what I'm trying to say is that I really like that I know who I am. Sort of. I'm still figuring that part out. (Wow that was so cheesy, I think Nicholas Sparks is taking over my brain too... man he stinks...)
Now, I'd like to pass this on to MissMakeup and to Rachael at It'sSimpleLove. They're posts are both sweet and make me smile every time I read them. It's because of MissMakeup that I dared to try eyeliner a couple of days ago, and it looks pretty good, if I do say so myself!! I love Rachael's optimism and the unbeatable energy and enthusiasm in her posts. Really, if you're feeling blue, read their blogs!!

Moreover....

CLIQUE TIME!!!
Well as you may know I am hopelessly infatuated with this series. And My Little Phony was, by a million miles, the best novel in the whole genius series.
I read it in about an hour and a half this morning. It's somewhat long but impossible to put down. I demand of you, you MUST READ THIS SERIES!! The books after Bratfast at Tiffany's , around the tenth book, get a little dry, but oh man oh man it picks up. This one was deep. I didn't think Lisi Harrison could go that deep. But man oh man she did. There's only one book left in the series and I am DYING for it to come out soon.

Also, remember the post I did about The Hunger Games? Well, the third novel in the trilogy, Mockingjay, is coming out on the 27th, so mark your calenders!! I am so psyched for this one.

Now, IS THERE ANYBODY BUT ME OUT THERE WHO IS VERY ANGRY AT TEEN VOGUE THESE DAYS??!!!???? I didn't think anything could be worst than the August issue, with the article about GBFs (gay best friends... do they really need to label homosexuality as a "trend"?), but they stooped lower and the September issue hit the racks (no pun intended). Who really decided to put VICTORIA JUSTICE on the cover??!!!??
I'm planning a post on this on Tuesday, so look out for it.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

My dad wants to be a rockstar.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, from when struting the streets in Jersey with leg warmers was cool, my dad was a rocker. With the guitar and everything. Electric guitar.

Now my dad is a [nerdy] doctor. He doesn't seem to understand the concept of buying new t-shirts after 20 years or so. He hates unclogging toilets (as does everybody).

Him playing the guitar has always been a [semi-annoying] part of my childhood. And the saxaphone. And piano. It's just the way things are. He wanted to be a musician, not a doctor. I always thought that was sad.

So my dad joined a band. A rock band. Composed soley of other doctors from the hospital. And they actually perform IN FRONT OF OTHER HUMAN BEINGS!!! The band is named after a medical term. Yes a medical term. No comment from me; but I'm really glad my dad has an outlet now, you know? Like a hobby.

But unfortunately for my beauty sleep (and trust me, I NEED IT), Frankie has taken to the saxophone. He's exceedingly good, but that means practicing at 8:00 A.M., when most sane kids are snoring and enjoying summer's freedom. HELLO FRANKIE ARE YOU CRAZY!??? He'll then come into my room, armed with that brass bulldozer, and perform Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for me. While I'm rubbing sand out of my eyes.

My family has officially gone mad with music, my braces hurt, I keep having bad dreams about high school (however it's an improvement from my previous series of nightmares about Joan Rivers), Match.com keeps emailing me about a date at a bar with somebody (and it says my name is Jacuzzi), and eighth grade and all of its exams are waiting for me around the corner like a ferocious lion that just escaped from the zoo... (For a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic, as Paramore would say [but I'm not really a pessimist!!])

But this has been an awesome summer. Really. But there are going to be some changes around this here blog:
For one, every Tuesday (yes I know it's Wednesday!!) they'll be a post. Officially. AWESUMA!!!
For two... maybe I'll do a, er, fashion-y, self-style themed post every week. I've been taking pictures of my outfits and, hmm, inspiration? and I would like to get it all organized here.

BLOG MENTION!!!!
Everybody please check out my friend Miss Makeup's blog. It is seriously awesome. I can't tell you guys how much I learned about make up from her (and we all know how bad I am with make up... ). If you want to be a make up mogul, get gorgeous, and add a really fun read to your blog list, check out her bloggy blog TODAY!!
And remember JRC? She goes by a new name now in these parts: Lil' Miss Sunshine!!! Check it out!! I love her trend reports!!!
Also check out my Frankie's blog. He's writing another post right now!!!!
Yeah I know another makeover... I was in the mood for something less... flouncy? Tell me: which is better? I might also change the background when school comes around.