Friday, July 22, 2011

Guys, I read an amazing book. No joke.

It was called Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. Oh man. Never have I thought that 198 pages could be so powerful.

Seriously, this book should be up there with the American beauties.
It was like The Catcher in the Rye and Clique got married and wanted to have a baby together but they couldn't (fertility issues) so they got Libba Bray to be the surrogate. That was how amazing this book was.

PLOT SYNOPSIS TIME!
(I'm stealing this from the book)

The tough, tender, and darkly funny story of a teenage outcast.
Melinda Sordiono busted an end-of-summer party by calling the cops, so her old friends won't talk to her, and people she doesn't know hate her from a distance. It's no use explaining to her parents; they've never really known what her life is really like. The safest place for Melinda is to be alone, inside her own head. But that's not even safe. Because there's something she's trying not to think about, something about that night of the party that, if she admitted it and let it in, would blow her carefully constructed disguise to smithereens. And then she would have no choice. Melinda would have to speak the truth. 


But it wasn't even THAT that got me hooked. It was this measly paragraph on the back:

"I wasted the last week of August watching bad cartoons. I didn't go to the mall, the lake, or the pool, or answer the phone. I have entered high school with the wrong hair, the wrong clothes, the wrong attitude. And I don't have anyone to sit with. I am an Outcast." 

Guys, this book was just amazing. Amazing! Amazing as in I wolfed it down in like 2 hours, maybe 3. But they were consecutive hours! I was reading that book like I was driving the Chunnel back and forth at top speed!
sheesh Jen, you gotta stop making analogies to European means of transportation. 


I think what got me hooked on this book was the writing style. It was blunt but metaphorical, witty, and used fancy pants words without sounding pretentious. Well, not necessarily fancy pants words. Just good words. Like words you wouldn't see on a blog post here.

So therefore, I rate this book 5 out of 5 bowls of Frosted Flakes.  That was how amazing it was. 
But it's definitely for an older audience, maybe 12+. The story is so sad-but-witty but a tough topic to discuss with lil' kids. 


Oh! AND THERE'S A MOVIE!
Don't watch it before you read the book. The movie is pretty on pointe but one major part for me was changed. 
But I think you fashion bloggers will like it, because it has that whole late-90's early-00's Lizzy McGuire vibe you've all been talking about.... please tell me I'm interpreting this trend correctly.
p.s. sorry this post is basically me just spazzing out... BUT READ THIS BOOK! READ IT! IMPERIO! NOW YOU HAVE TO READ IT! 

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Only the diehard HP fans are allowed in this theater

The one thing I can call myself a super super super fangirl of without a trace of uncertainty is HP. Not Hewlett-Packard Company. I'm talking about Harry Potter. Harry Potter. I love Harry Potter.
Harry Potter taught me a lot of things... For one, I was the only 4th grader who knew how to use quotations properly. But the most important thing HP taught me was the power of words.
(note to self: you are not Professor Dumbledore, Jen)


So I of course I was mega mega mega excited for the last movie. The tumblr hype got me pumped. I wanted to go to the midnight showing with the local diehards but evidently I was "too jetlaged" according to Mom. Thanks, Mom.

Instead I went to the 4:40 matinee yesterday with Marg, Phil, Anneka, my parents, Frankie, Frankie's friend Noah and Noah's mom. My friends and I sat in the second to last row, with a bunch of older high school boys in athletic shorts and Holister Ts filling up the row behind us.

Ugh. And how is one supposed to enjoy the movie she's been looking forward to since last November when wannabe Jersey shore baboons are sitting behind her?

When the movie was about to start, the jam-packed theater broke into applause. "Shut the BLEEP up!!" the losers shouted. "BE RESPECTFUL!" I shouted back.
Yeah, witty comeback, I know.

It was just terrible with them behind us. When Voldemort was Aveda Kedavra-ing Harry the losers shouted "PENIS!" Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh!

With any other movie I wouldn't have cared that my town's finest gentlemen were shouting the names of body parts in the movie's most serious scene. But not when I'm seeing the very last HP film for the first time. No. No. Never.

I think my problem was that I assumed that everybody in my town would be as superfan-excited for the last movie as I was. I was wrong. I wish I went at the midnight showing.
What do you guys think? Is shouting obnoxious things in the last HP movie ok? Or should you be respectful in any movie?

Thursday, July 14, 2011

London! David Cameron! Benedict Arnold!

I'M BAAAAACK!!
I'm sorry for not carrying through with my travelogue... I tried writing blog posts a zillion times (I'm not lying), but the internet on the cruise and at the hotel in London was terrible. I have so much to say about the trip though, so I'm going to use bullet points.

  • I watched a TV show in England called "Embarrassing Bodies: Teenage Special." I guess it was to assure kids that they were normal... but long story short, it would be child pornography in the US.
  • They use the F word on TV there! Who knew?
  • I saw David Cameron, the prime minister! He was in the Westminister station Underground, surrounded by body guards! The only reason I saw him is because we were petting a bomb sniffing dog, and after he walked by, the officer told us. It was swag.
  • I didn't poop my pants on the London Eye! 
  • I saw Benedict Arnold's grave... explanation below.
 My family is made up of American Revolution eggheads. So of course my mom arranged for us to go see Benedict Arnold's grave (short biography: Arnold was a shopkeeper from New Haven who became a general in the Continental Army. He kicked the British army's ass. But he didn't get any credit for his amazingness, and the army didn't promote him and he was shunned. So he joined the British, and instead of being liked there, he was also shunned. He died in London and was made Connecticut's State Traitor).  My family loves Benedict Arnold. Without him, we wouldn't have won the war. He was just as much as a hero as Washington. I mean, if some other dude took all the credit for your work, wouldn't you be pissed?

But while the other war heros have great monuments in their honor, Arnold is buried under a church in Battersea turned into a kindergarten class.

The fact that a Revolutionary War hero was buried in a kindergarten class did not sit right with my family. I mean, that's just messed up.

Any chicken noodle soup. I wanna say I'm sorry to Sophie for being a really crappy blogger! (remember that comment I left you? Well I wrote an article for my town's newspaper finally! Blogger points to me!)
What do you guys think of profanity being allowed on TV? Should showing kids' private parts on TV be allowed if it's to assure pubescent teenagers? What do you guys think about Benedict Arnold being buried in a kindergarten class?

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Space Invader + Pedophiles + River Cruise = My Vacation

Hey guys! Man I need a cooler greeting, but guess what?
100 FOLLOWERS! THIS BLOG! HOLY AHAHHAHAHAH!!

I can't believe it, I really can't... 100 followers... this is the best! Thank you guys so much, really. If it weren't for your hilarious comments and support, I would've quit blogging back in seventh grade. Blogging has been such a rich experience for me, so yeah, thank you guys so much!

Now back to the post... you're probably wondering, how does Space Invader, a pedophile, and a river cruise equal my vacation? Or maybe you're not? Maybe you think pedophile jokes are too cliche? Well either way, here is le answer! (get it, le? Because I'm in France? And le is French? You're doubled over laughing, right?)
The Louvre... pretty irrelevant, I just wanted to prove that I at least walked by the pyramid.
A Space Invader.
A Space Invader on a random street in Paris.

So I'm in Rouen now, a city that reminds me of the European version of New Haven. Yesterday I walked by a girl smoking pot. It was awkward. That pretty much describes how I feel about Rouen so far.

Anyways, all over Paris there are these little tile things called Space Invaders. They're put up by an anonymous person known only as the Space Invader, and I'm totally obsessed. They qualify as vandalism, but the Parisians love them so much they've kept them up.

Now on to the pedophile:

I was lying on the sun deck of the river boat yesterday (we're on a cruise down the Seine), and there was this 15 year old dude by me named Antony. At first I thought he liked me because I caught him looking at me a couple of times, but then I just decided there was either crap in my braces or that he's just odd, so I nicknamed him "Mr. Antolini" in my head, like the character from Catcher in the Rye. But I think that name better suits another man.

So I was lying on the sun deck rereading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and then I hear this man, a tall 40 something traveling alone (it's a small boat, so we've gotten to know people quickly), approach Antolini and ask him if he wanted to join him and "a bunch of other people" to see a "lights show" in Rouen. Antolini's mom was right there, so she was all like "oh no, it will be too late, sorry," because it was weird that he didn't ask her too, right? And then they have this conversation, because Smoky (the 40 year old, he was smoking) evidently works in publishing and the mom was a teacher. And Smoky kept bringing the conversation around to the kid! He asked him how old he was, where he lived, and said it was "so cool" that he was traveling at such a young age, and that he must have "such an interesting perspective of the world." If Smoky really is a pedophile, he definitely was not good at it.

Then Smoky talked about how in Paris he met a 20 year old male student and they had dinner together and got ice cream. And it was so random too! Just weirdness. Like really weird. He fit the name Mr. Antolini more than the kid. (oh yeah... I feel kinda bad for eavesdropping... but not really.) I don't know if Smoky was a pedophile or not, but he sure was weird. Pedophiles scare me.

So yeah, France has been really cool! Today we went to see Omaha beach, the American cemetery and visited Bayoux. It was amazing! Especially the cemetery. I just wish we had more time there.

Today my mom and I got into a fight, though. This morning my mom started talking about how one man looked a lot like a woman today, and I was scared that he would hear because he was nice. Even though he did look a little like Condoleezza Rice from my peripheral vision in line for the omelets, I didn't want to say anything.

I'll write again soon! We're heading back to Paris soon and then London, so I'm sure I'll have more to tell you! I'll comment and respond to all of you guys when I get back! (Racheyy! I looked at your blog and it's awesome!)

What do you guys think about Europe? Was Smoky a pedophile or not? Do you think vandalism is ok even if it's art like the Space Invader?

Friday, July 1, 2011

Bonjour, I'm in Paris! Man that was cheesy...

Ok, I have a bit of spare time so I figured I'd write a blog post!

Right now we're waiting to check into our hotel. My mom passed out on an armchair, my grandma just took her pills, my brother is playing Nintendo DS, my dad is reviewing a map, and my grandpa is finding a bathroom.

BUT I'M IN PARIS!!! HOLY COW I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!

We just got here. Before my mom fell asleep, we crossed the street and went into a little chocolate shop. BEHOLD. PICTURES.


The plane ride was pretty nice. I just can't wait for my mom to wake up so we can start exploring Paris!! UGH when will this cheesiness ever end??

Some things I've noticed:


  1. French women are insanely stylish.
  2. Charles De Gaule airport blows Newark International out of the water.
  3. The cars here are weird. 
  4. Motorcyclists wear helmets. (Is it a law or something? Because it's not a law in Connecticut and that's why all of our motercycle dudes are maniacs.)
  5. French janitors are OK with having women in the men's room when the line to the women's room goes way out the door. (It was weird. I mean, there my grandma and I were, in this super high tech Euro men's room, and this dude comes out of the stall and gives me a weird look like "WTF?" and I'm like "uhh... *shrug*"
And here's a day late birthday shout out to Amy!!!! Happy 20th!!!! 

I gotta go!! Talk to you guys later!!
What do you guys think about traveling? Do you like airplanes? Airports? Traveling in general?